a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
