So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
