YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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