Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You can't just leave with hair like that
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
