It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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