So drunk its hurt
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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