Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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