I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
