I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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