Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
