If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
