At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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