East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
