my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
