Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I smell stomach acid.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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