her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
