just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
