Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
