Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
