As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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