What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
