i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
