Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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