I'm lost and stupid without you.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
