I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
