I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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