Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
