how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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