Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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