evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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