God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
