pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
