We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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