3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
