Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
