I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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