But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize