My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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