I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize