so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
