D3 body, D1 cock
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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