and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
