My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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