Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
