He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
