3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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