You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
