Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
