her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
