Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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