Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Damn victory sex feels great
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize