god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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