I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Drunk is a universal language darling
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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