But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
