fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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