I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
