...so i touched it.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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