My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
