remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
